i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
