What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
