glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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