PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
