btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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