I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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