I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just found puke in my bra..
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
