i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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