Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I just found puke in my bra..
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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