i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
