we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
