found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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