yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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