she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
