I am in a vortex of obligation.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm at about main and main street
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
