Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
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