I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
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