they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
