I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
