no you cant smoke seaweed
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
