11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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