It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
