put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
