So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Houston, we have a blender
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
