forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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