Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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