I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
