she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize