I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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