You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
