The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
