My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
