Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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