ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
