By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
