RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
