My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
