Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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