No stitches, just platelets and will power
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
