I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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