carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
