Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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