We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
