I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
