woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
