i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
