giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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