I smell stomach acid.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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