3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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