She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize