I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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