im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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