Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
