she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
