Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Randomize
