i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
