remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize