I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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