what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I need to stop coming to work sober
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
