Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
