All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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