Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
