I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
