I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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