I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
