Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry elimanningsuckas hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college

Fav 35 5327 925
share tweet
(612): View more from Minnesota

i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.

Fav 25 5952 1123
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(631): View more from New York

I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.

(631): View more from New York

Cruelly.

Fav 23 4461 1578
share tweet
(305): View more from Florida

Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.

Fav 9 1204 2479
share tweet
(910): View more from North Carolina

It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did

Fav 11 1103 1738
share tweet
(618): View more from Illinois

some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.

Fav 7 1548 1221
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(607): View more from New York

To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.

Fav 4 2346 848
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

On a side note apparently my brother is gay

Fav 1 161 21
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(607): View more from New York

Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.

Fav 0 91 14
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT