Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
