am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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