i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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