Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
