her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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