did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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