On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Randomize
