you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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