Where did you get a picture of my penis
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
