just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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